Worry? Worry Not? Worry.

I think I'm broken, like a tape recorder,
I keep repeating my same mistakes over and over.
Insightful lies I tell myself to make myself understand,
There are quite a few people I'd like to murder
Bury them in panic, right under trees smelling like October.
Then I find myself running off with nothing, into wonderland.

I keep tugging at my tshirt until I can't breathe,
As it braces my skin i pull it until it cannot.
Expanding the fabric so that I can breathe again,
Without clothing and stress of life we are all animals underneath.
Animals who stress about everything, animals who faught,
Self conscious and worried, i find myself as I sit in the rain.

I bite my nails, pick at my face, until there's nothing left,
Until my hands are torn off, and so is my face.
I clench my fists, close my eyes, as my face goes numb,
I worry. The best punishment for failure and theft.
I cannot breathe, i cannot move, I need back my space,
I have nothing to my name, nothing, to worrying I succumb.

I hide under my bed as my insecurities are made aware,
I look under my bed but there isn't any space at all.
Even the monster doesn't want me, and kicked me out,
No where to go, with no where to hide, so unfair.
Surrounding me I see my room, getting closer I see the wall,
With panic, peril, worry approaching, all I can do is shout.

There’s this weird coping mechanism I have when I feel panicked and stressed, that I pull on my shirt weirdly, it’s hard to explain, really. This poem talks about self-consciousness, self doubt, and my insecurities, enjoy: )